Quick, short baseball jokes, one liners and humor

Q: Sportscaster, off the record: Hey, Makoto, what's an erection?

A: Makoto Suzuki: When people vote!

Q: What is the difference between Darryl Strawberry and a prostitute?

A: A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q: How can you tell if a Mets fan just sent you a fax?

A: There's a stamp on it.

Q: How can you tell if John Rocker has been using your computer?

A: There's whiteout on the screen.

Q: How can you tell when George Steinbrenner is lying?

A: His lips are moving.

Q: What's the biggest challenge for the Chicago Cubs' marketing department?

A: Literacy.

Q: Did you hear the sad news?

A: Bill Buckner tried to kill himself the other day by jumping in front of a bus. Luckily it went right through his legs.

Q: What team does Pee-Wee Herman always watch?

A: The Expos.

Spring training is very important. It gives all the Dominican players time to learn how to say "renegotiate" in English.

When the Marlins made it to the World Series, things got crazy in Florida.

Miami hadn't been that excited since the invention of the hip replacement.

Pete Rose tried to join Gamblers Anonymous. They gave him two to one he wouldn't make it.

'Your office is as hot as an oven," said a major league player to his agent.

"So it ought to be," said the agent. "I make my bread here."

A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked up to have a talk with him. "I've figured out your problem," he told the young southpaw. "You always lose control at the same point in every game."

"When is that?"

"Right after the national anthem."

A conceited new rookie was pitching his first game. He walked the first five men he faced and the manager took him out of the game. The rookie slammed his glove on the ground as he yelled, "Damn it, the jerk took me out when I had a no-hitter going."

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