Quick, short baseball jokes, one liners and humor

Q: What do Jose Offerman and Michael Jackson have in common?

A: They both wear a glove for no apparent reason.

Q:What baseball team does Pee Wee Herman like?

A: The Yankees.

A macho minor leaguer buys a magic mirror at an antique shop. He crosses his fingers and says, "Mirror, mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!"

There's a bright flash and . .. both his legs fall off.

Q: What is the difference between Mel Rojas and UPS?

A: UPS knows how to throw a strike.

Confucius say that baseball very funny game; man can walk on four balls.

Jeter, Strawberry, and Wells are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and sinks slowly. Everybody starts screaming, panicking, etc.
Jeter shouts: "Women and children first."
Strawberry goes: "Screw the women."
Wells replies: "Do you think we have time?"

Q:What is the difference between baseball and law?

A: In baseball, if you're caught stealing, you're out.

Q: Why do the Braves wear jockstraps?

A: Totem poles.

Q:What do jello and a women's baseball team have in common?

A: They both wiggle when you eat them.

Q: How many major league umpires does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.

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