Quick, short baseball jokes, one liners and humor

Bumper sticker on Darryl Strawberry's car:

I SAID "NO" TO DRUGS, BUT THEY JUST WOULDN'T LISTEN.

Q: Why do ballplayers make such lousy lovers?

A: They always wait for the swelling to go down.

Q: Why did the chicken get sent to the dugout?

A: For persistent fowl play.

Q: What have flour, yeast, and Florida Marlins fans got in common?

A: They're all inbred.

Q: What do you call a Yankees fan with no arms and legs?

A: Trustworthy.

Q: When Hunsicker said that he was going to turn the Astros into a sexy team, what did he mean?

A: They were guaranteed to get screwed by every other team in the league.

Q: Why are Diamondbacks fans like laxatives?

A: Because they irritate the crap out of you.

Q: How do you brainwash a Rockies fan?

A: Piss in his underwear.

Manager: Our new hitter cost ten million. I call him our wonder player.

Fan: Why's that?

Manager: Every time he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him.

Manager: Fourteen teams in the league and you guys finish last?

Shortstop: Well, it could have been worse.

Manager: How?

Shortstop: There could have been more teams in the league!

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