Quick, short baseball jokes, one liners and humor

A blond female high school outfielder goes to the drugstore to pick up a box of condoms for her and her boyfriend.

The clerk rings them up and asks for a dollar and six cents.

The blonde says, "I thought they were only a dollar."

The clerk tells her that the six cents is for the tax.

The blonde gets all wide-eyed and says, "I thought you just rolled them on!"

Cop: What's likely to happen if I arrest you for drunk driving?

Strawberry: I'll probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

Q: How did Derek Jeter cancel his appointment at the sperm bank?

A: He called and told them he couldn't come.

Q: Why do baseball players take showers instead of baths?

A: Pissing in the bath is disgusting.

Q: What do you call a tent full of lesbian ballplayers?

A: A finger hut.

Q: What do you call an Americanized Asian ballplayer?

A: Disoriented.

Q: What do you call a lesbian baseball player with thick fingers?

A: Well hung.

A rookie catcher from an Alabama team comes home from camp all proud of himself and tells his dad he's getting married . . . and the girl is even a virgin.

His dad tells him to call off the wedding. "If she ain't good enuf fer her own fam'ly, she ain't good enuf fer our fam'ly, neither!"

The stock market really plummeted today, but luckily there is a computer chip that is used to turn off the board if it gets too low.

The Royals have the same chip in their score-board.

Well, at least the Cubs are trying. They installed a new pitching machine the other day. Unfortunately it beat them 4-1.

Back | Top | Next Joke