Top Ten Signs that Spring Training is Up and Going

10. Familiar sounds of Pete Rose running a craps game under the bleachers.

9. Darryl Strawberry's annual announcement that he's clean and ready to play.

8. Tommy Lasorda seen pouring Slim-Fast into his Bud Light.

7. ESPN2 now showing "Batting Practice Tonight" three times a day.

6. My grandmother keeps spitting and scratching all over the place.

5. Floridian Crack-Addicts forced to cope with sudden price jump, now purchase pipes at WalMart.

4. High School pregnancy rate up in spring training towns.

3. Insert Mets Joke Here

2. German tourists now mugged with baseball bats.

1. Children under 10 getting autographs half-price (with proper ID).

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