Top Ten Desperate Attempts to Make the baseball Playoffs Exciting

10. Rule change requires base runners to skip instead of run.

9. Jumbotron shows skin flicks between innings.

8. Mark McGwire allowed to bat for any team, any damn time he wants.

7. If tied after 9 innings, bench-clearing free-for-all brawl determines winner.

6. Marv Albert stationed in loser's locker room.

5. Three strikes, you go to prison for life.

4. Kickball rules now apply.

3. Land mines added to warning track.

2. Play decisive playoff games on ice.

1. Baseball replaced with live hamster.

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