Top Ten Ways to Celebrate the Opening Day of Major League Baseball

10. Oil up those gloves and break out the balls.

9. Organize a strike.

8. Take a 3-hour nap.

7. Spit tobacco and scratch yourself all day at the office.

6. Pitch a tent on "the mound."

5. All the coke and hookers you can handle.

4. Trade your wife.

3. Rub your bat with pine tar.

2. Drink a $10.00 cup of beer.

1. Calculate how many YEARS you'll have to work to equal the money Alex Rodriguez gets for one game.

Back | Top | Next Joke