Top Ten Signs the Baseball Umpires are Pissed Off

10. Coaches challenging bad calls are now bitch-slapped.

9. Instead of walks, insist on humiliating skips.

8. Recently joined a "brushed-back" batter in rushing the pitcher.

7. Yesterday's Cubs/Royals game was played according to kickball rules.

6. Spotted putting Super Glue on first base.

5. Beginning to completely ignore the script and make their own calls.

4. Ejected the Girl Scout who sang "The Star Spangled Banner."

3. Strike call is now followed by verbal abuse and blows to batter's head and neck.

2. The pounding on my dungeon hatchway keeps increasing in volume.

1. Threatening to work games shirtless

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