Top Ten Reasons Hideki Irabu is Such a Bust

10. He isn't pitching in one of those cool giant robots.

9. Just can't get a feel for American balls.

8. Still dismayed at fan reaction to his "Kill The Whales" bumpersticker.

7. Fastball is not 98mph as once thought, but 98kmh.

6. On this side of the globe, magnets actually attract evil spirits.

5. The "YOU SUCK, IRABU!" signs in the stands aren't helping.

4. "Kamikaze baseball" poorly received by American fans.

3. Work habits negatively influenced lazy American peer group.

2. Who?

1. Fantastic nipples!

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