Top Darryl Strawberry Complaints

1. Inside pitches can break a coke nail clean off.

2. Didn't get the lead role in "Spin City."

3. Fox network passed on my proposal for "Who Wants To Marry A Crackhead?"

4. Afraid to use any pickup line other than, "Are you a cop?"

5. Pitchers won't even let me near the resin bag.

6. The Reds waive their "no earring" rule for Junior, but the Yankees won't budge on that stupid "no illegal narcotics" thing.

7. After this, I'll be lucky to get a job playing right field in Colombia ... Hey, wait a minute.

8. All the good lawyers are busy defending NFL players.

9. Bought some urine on the black market... found out later it was David Crosby's.

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