Top Ten Signs You're Not Watching a Real Baseball Team

10. You recognize the batter as the kid who sold you a hot dog a couple minutes earlier.

9. Every time a player slides into second, he busts his hip.

8. They keep shouting, "Do over!"

7. When the umpire yells, "Strike three!" the batter looks at him as if the dude's speaking French.

6. Try as they might, they just can't scratch themselves like professionals.

5. First base: Siskel. Second base: Ebert.

4. The game stops when some lady in a house near the stadium shouts, "Dinnertime!"

3. Players constantly adjusting each other's cups.

2. You overhear the coach yelling, "Run, Forrest, run!"

1. They play like the Mets.

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