Top Ten Signs Your Umpire Is Nuts

10. His chest protector has large silicone implants.

9. Cleans home plate with his tongue.

8. The first batter has worked the count up to forty-six balls, twenty-nine strikes.

7. Makes own face mask out of bubble wrap and duct tape.

6. Was seen checking into a Motel 6 with the Philly Phanatic.

5. Three small and very telling words: wears a cape.

4. Keeps running up to fat guys in the stands and yelling, "Babe Ruth! You're alive!"

3. Insists that "baseball fever" is the cause of that weird rash on his back.

2. Whenever he sees a player adjusting himself, shouts, "Ball two!"

1. Long after the game has ended, he's still squatting.

Back | Top | Next Joke