Top Ten Signs Your Team Won't Be Playing in the World Series

10. Team's idea of a double play bourbon with a beer chaser.

9. Home games played in the parking lot of a local bowling alley.

8. Players refuse to slide for fear of ruining their manicure.

7. The manager's in excellent shape from walking out to the mound after every pitch.

6. Players keep pointing at the bat and saying, "Is that some kinda ball-wackin' stick?"

5. Team uniforms made from duct tape and bedspreads.

4. When their team takes the field, more than a few are carrying folding chairs.

3. On pop fouls, the catcher takes off his mask, jersey, socks, and pants.

2. Your best hitter's nickname: 'The Sultan of Suck."

1. Instead of tobacco, players chew asbestos.

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