Top Ten Reasons Canada Keeps Beating Us in the World Series

10. French baseball chatter very disorienting.

9. U.S. players get sleepy standing through two national anthems.

8. Special enzyme in Canadian bacon that turns players into game-winning zombies.

7. American teams discouraged by the new RBI tax.

6. All our secret plays are being funneled to them by that weasel Paul Shaffer.

5. Exchange rate makes Canadian runs worth more.

4. Stirring pregame talks, which always end with "win one for Lome Greene."

3. They don't bother to use actual Canadians.

2. Let's face it we're a bunch of "Hoosiers."

1. Those damn Mountie umpires.

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