The Top Sixteen John Rocker Pet Peeves

1. When the team wants to eat Chinese or Mexican food rather than good old-fashioned American pizza.

2. All those damn French-speaking foreigners hanging around the Montreal stadium.

3. Educated chicks.

4. You'd think Jesse Helms or David Duke would pick up a lunch check every now and then, but noooooo...

5. Getting called in from the bull pen right in the middle of a good fight on Jerry Springer.

6. The hood hinders his pick-off move.

7. Jerk catcher always winks whenever he signals for the "high hard one."

8. Best Cuban sandwiches are made by friggin' Cubans.

9. 1,421 e-mails advising Mahir to go home; 1,421 responses: "Message Undeliverable: Mailbox full."

10. Marge Schott just ain't quite hot enough to pork.

11. There goes his speaking engagement at this year's Nation of Islam conference.

12. If them Indians don't like us calling ourselves the Braves, why don't they just go back where they came from?

13. Fire! Fire bad!

14. That genius Reggie White turned out to be a colored guy.

15. Sports Illustrated reporter left out his really good Jew jokes.

16. Jeff Foxworthy keeps following him around with a notepad.

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