Big as a baseball bat

A young man joined the army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went through the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his proud father to tell him the news.

"So, did you jump?" asked the father.

"Well, let me tell you what happened. When we got up in the plane, the sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane!"

"Is that when you jumped?" asked the father.

"Um, not yet. Then, the sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door."

"Did you jump then?" asked the father.

"I'm getting to that. Everyone else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told me to get off the plane or he'd kick my butt."

"So, did you jump?" asked the father.

"Not then. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed on to the door and refused to go. Finally, he called over the jump master. The jump master is this great big guy, about six-foot-five, and 250 pounds.

He said to me, 'Boy, are you gonna jump or not?' I said, 'No, sir. I'm too scared.'

So, the jump master pulled down his zipper and took his member out from his pants. I swear, it was about ten inches long and as big around as a baseball bat!

He said, 'Boy, either you jump out that door, or I'm sticking this little baby up your butt!' "

"So, did you jump?" asked the father.

"Well, a little, at first."

Back | Top | Next Joke